Friday, May 14, 2010

The Truth is Anything but Pretty

I must admit that my host mother, despite her faults, definitely has one redeeming quality: she is brutally honest. Now, I thought my real mother was brutally honest when it came to telling me how it is, but I have to say that these past few days, my host mother has been in rare form.

For example, we were eating lunch two days ago and my host father decided he wanted a kiwi.

"Oh, it's very sweet and ripe. Just how I like it," he said. "When it's like this, it has so much fiber."

My host mother then replied, "Oh yes, fiber is very good for you, but for me, if I eat too much, Señor Toilet will be a very visited man."

...I couldn't help myself. I lost it. I spit food everywhere and laughed hysterically for at least two minutes. My host mother just stared at me smiling, and once my laughing fit ended she said, "Well it's true. It's good to visit the Señor at least three times a day, but too much fiber and Señor Toilet gets tired of me!"

So, as you can see, my host mother is brutally honest about her bowel movements.

Today, we had a similar hysterical moment, although today, she was honest about something quite different. We were talking about this girl who stayed with them two or three years ago. This particular girl had to wear a scarf over her hair every night while she slept so her hair would remain just so. All of a sudden, in the middle of the conversation about the hair scarf, my host mother exclaims, "OH! but she had such a beautiful profile. Absolutely PERFECT for any artist." I smiled at this because usually my host mother is very open about letting us know when she thinks someone is ugly (and yes, she just flat out calls them ugly). However, just as I began placing that moment in my memory bank as one of her more endearing moments, she qualified her statement by saying, "Oh yes, gorgeous profile. The front of her face wasn't very pretty, but her profile! I could look at her profile all day."
...Again, at hearing this, my jaw dropped, and again, I started hysterically laughing. Who says that???

So, once again as you can see, my host mother is brutally honest about physical appearance.



  1. LMBO!
    a funny profile! that's absolutely HiLarious!

  2. that is SO Spanish... talking from experience!!!